Dear Alice

Dear Alice,

It’s been more than 60 years since we last met. Those events, I've thought on every day. They haunt me, Alice. I tried to forget, but to no avail.

I don’t know when you’ll get this, but I hope it’s soon. I've tried for so long to tell you how I feel, how I felt about you since the moment I first heard your voice. I remember that day more clearly than anything.

You were standing by the lake of Trayp. I was in the forest hunting. You didn't know I was there, but I knew you were. Your hair cast off toward the sun, the way it can only for the most beautiful of the angels. Sometimes, I’ll close my eyes, and I’ll see you then, as you were. Young and perfect. Your friends were there, then. They laughed with you, and you with them. How I wished to be among them, near you. But I suppose it worked out better the way it did.

The first day we met, you were more than a little frightened of me. I suppose I can understand that, given the circumstances. I heard you, again, and I knew the voice. So I followed it. I followed it to you, Alice. And when I appeared before you, the look in your eyes will forever be burned into my mind. I still yearn to see that look again.

I’m in the forest, again, Alice. I seem to frequent the woods more often now. I feel at home in them. I do travel, but everywhere I go, I feel closer to you in the trees.

I… I almost don’t want to say it, Alice, but there were others. Others after you, and still others after them. None of them compared, and I suppose they only happened because I was looking for you. I’ll continue my search, Alice. Though something tells me it will yield nothing.

I knew from the moment I first saw you that I wanted to make you mine. My first attempt to claim you was the first of the dark days. I remember little, in my old mind, and that which I do remember has warped with age. You stopped walking home alone, and this frightened me away. I didn't want a confrontation.

You’ll have to forgive me Alice, for my mind is far from serene. The days have changed me and my memories are muddled. Snippets of our affair still surface.

I watched you from the forest, always from the forest. You seemed to have forgotten our first meeting, and this caused me great distress. I knew then that I had to suspend my reservations, and speak with you, Alice. I didn't know where you lived, and so I followed you home. For several days, I watched, attempting to discern your patterns. It was your job to tend to the garden. This was when I decided to make contact with you.

Those first few steps, I could feel my heart pounding like the footsteps of some great jungle predator. And when you looked up, I knew you felt the same.

You always did love to play hide and seek. It seemed that as soon as I would come to you, you would initiate the chase. Over time, I began to grow weary of this. But I continued to humor you and you continued to run.

Soon, I began to sense that the running became more abstract. You were pulling away from me, Alice, and began spending more time among friends. I would go weeks without spending time with you, and I began to go crazy thinking about you. I knew then that I had to do something. I had to show you how I felt.

I entered your house when it was empty that day, and I waited for you there. Upon your return, I began to get scared again, and so ran through the first door I could find. You went about your business, and I tried to work up the courage to speak to you. I’m ashamed of my actions that night, but I couldn't face you. I was worried that you would leave me, and that was something I couldn't accept. So I waited, waited for you to be a bit more… vulnerable. And then my moment came.

You fell asleep. And so I went to you, hoping you wouldn't wake up. You did and you screamed when you saw me. That scream hurt me, Alice, and so I had to silence you. I reached out a hand and then…

I don’t remember what happened after that. I haven’t seen you since, and so I search for you. Cheap replacements will never satisfy, but they’re all I have at this point. I hope one day you will return to me, but I can’t merely wait for you, so I must keep searching.

For their sake, Alice, I hope you return soon.